Back in the day, when my brother and I were kids, he used to be terrified of elevators. When we went on a holiday to the Gold Coast, there was a little shop in the foyer that sold postcards & chocolate. We were staying on the 15th floor and Mum, who was probably after 10 minutes of peace and quiet after watching us swim in the pool all day, gave us a dollar coin each and said we could go down to the foyer shop and buy ourselves a chocolate bar.
As we ran towards the elevator to press the ground floor button, my brother saw that the elevator was already there and the doors were open, so he ran inside. You know, to prove he was the winner in getting to the lift first.
As he got in, the lift doors shut and down the elevator/lift/whatever you like to call it went, all the way to the bottom floor with my brother in it, screaming at the top of his lungs the entire way down. So it’s safe to say that he wouldn’t want to be stuck in an elevator with anyone, famous or otherwise, anytime soon!
I on the other hand, don’t mind a casual trip in an elevator. Unless of course it’s to the top of some building where I’m then forced to get out and take in the view from the top. Now that is something I would be terrified to do.
Sadly, I’ve never been in an elevator with anyone famous (although I did follow Peter Andre down the escalator of the Gold Coast casino back in 1993, which surely counts for something?!) but I do have quite a long list of people I wouldn’t mind being stuck in a confined space with. And because I’m somewhat of an over-sharer, here’s a list of the 5 people I’d like to be stuck in an elevator with!
1. Kim and Kanye. I mean they always look like they’re having so much fun wherever they go, don’t they?! What a joy it would be to be stuck in a lift with those two funsters! Just imagine the crazy things we’d get up to!
She could teach me important life skills like how to take a good selfie while he could show me what it’s like to actually be Jesus. With a Y. And a Z. Oh and a double E. Actually now that I think about it, I hope I have a whiteboard with me when we get stuck in a lift together because I’m thinking he could probably do with a quick spelling lesson.
2. The girl who sat behind me in Year 8 and constantly threw spit balls into the back of my head. I have no idea where she is now or what she’s doing with her life, but I’d really love to be stuck in a lift with her so I could tell her that Mean Girls sometimes grow up to the Mean Women and did that happen to her?
Of course I’d say all of that telepathically because I’m not really a fan of confrontation and couldn’t be f*&ked listening to whatever explanation she would offer for being such a Mean Girl way back in 1986. So in reality, I’d probably just smile politely at her and ask if she could please press Ground for me, before whipping out my phone and pretending there is something very important on the screen that requires my full attention until those lift doors open!
3. Kate Middleton, although not at the moment as the poor thing is a bit under the weather with severe morning sickness and would be no fun at all to be in a very confined space with. So let’s just put that one on hold until she’s had her baby and is ready to become BFF’s with a random aussie chick who may or may not be thinking about practicing her curtsey technique in a mirror at this very moment.
4. Tony Abbott, so I could fling him a pair of board shorts. And possibly give him a teeny tiny lecture about acceptance, tolerance and things that are actually confronting…
5. And finally, the ultimate person I’d like to be stuck in a lift with is our good friend Charmaine! I reckon she’d have a safety stash of West Coast Coolers in her oversized acid washed handbag which we could throw back while waiting for help to arrive. And no doubt she’d have some snacks in there too. I’m thinking a Chicko Roll with a twinkie chaser would be on offer, which just quietly, after 5 weeks of Operation Loose Pants action, I could smash right about now!
OK, your turn. Who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with? Would it involve selfies or chiko rolls?
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