Valentine’s Day 2016
Dear Diary,
I decided to go to Kmart on Valentine’s Day because nothing say romance like a trolley full of faux marble.
Also, Guns and I were a couple of hours into our yearly argument (great day to have it) and I couldn’t really stand the sight of him. Actually that’s a lie. Even when I’m cross with him he still looks good, which is dead set annoying.
Truth is, we weren’t talking to each other for some silly reason, I can’t even remember now what it was, and because I can’t eat my feelings at the moment (thanks a lot Food Nazi!) I decided to spend them instead.
Turns out Valentine’s Day was a great day to visit Kmart as it was pretty much empty. Probably because all the loved up couples who weren’t spending the day having a bit of a tiff, were doing lovely romantic things together, like drinking wine on a picnic blanket or waiting patiently for a delivery of 472 long-stemmed red roses to arrive.
I however, was on a pastel homewares spending spree. Although that’s the beauty of Kmart. You can use words like ‘spending spree’ and ‘homewares’ in the same sentence like you’re completely up yourself, when in fact you’ve spent a grand random total of $27.92!
So I grabbed a trolley and headed to the pastel homewares section to find one of those $9 metal tray sets that everyone on Instagram keeps using in their flat lays.
I managed to find one straight away and as I was putting it in my trolley my day suddenly became slightly more interesting.
You see there was a blonde lady about my age walking towards me. I looked up and she was smiling right at me with a big old friendly smile that said, “Hi! How the hell are ya?”
I’ve never seen this woman before but I smiled back and as I did, numerous thoughts started racing through my head, “Am I meant to know her? Where do I know her from? Is she a mum from school? Maybe she reads the blog? FFS. She doesn’t read the blog. This is so awkward. Why is she smiling at me like that? Help!”
The friendly lady was still smiling at me and by now she was giggling a bit too. She actually looked like she was having A LOT of fun and just quietly, I was kind of hoping I was meant to know her from somewhere!
She continued walking towards me, still grinning from ear to ear, while I played it cool and casually looked at the pastel kitchen canisters on the shelf to my right.
She reached my trolley, I looked up, she smiled at me some more and then walked straight past me, to her friend who was standing behind me.
“Ugh” I thought to myself, “she wasn’t smiling at me at all! She was smiling at her friend. Thank god I didn’t say hello. That would’ve been SO AWKIES!” But then my thoughts were interrupted when the friendly lady said to her friend,
“You know” she said, in what I’m fairly sure she thought was a whisper but was more like a really loud shout, “it’s actually kind of fun being drunk at Kmart!”
And that, Dear Diary, is how I spent my Valentine’s Day. Sober at Kmart.
Until next time,
Kirsten x
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