Way back in 2012 I completed a whole year of Fat Mum Slim’s Photo A Day (click here to see the photos from January 2012) I loved the idea of taking 5 minutes of your day to take a creative photo and whack it up on Instagram and decided to give it another crack in 2015.
Earlier this week one of the prompts was ‘square.’ I took a photo of some Chocolate Slice I’d just made, added a borderline witty Seinfeld reference and BAM! The photo was done:
Of course mentioning that Elaine from Seinfeld is my Dancing Doppelgänger properly wasn’t my smartest move as now I’ve got several Instagram friends wanting to go dancing with me, just so they can see what I’m referring to!
Now in case you don’t actually know what I’m banging on about, here’s a clip of The Elaine Dance, where she shows off her fine moves on the dance floor…
And here’s the story about the time I channelled my inner Elaine and busted some very similar moves of my own on the dance floor. Enjoy!
So several years ago I went on a girls trip to Melbourne with two of the loveliest people I know. After a hard day of shopping and sightseeing, we decided to go out for a few drinks. Our first stop was a fairly fancy looking pub, which I thought was called James Squire, as there were signs everywhere with that particular logo on it. Turns out James Squire is a beer and not the name of a pub, so I can’t actually tell you which pub we were in.
Anyway, after a few sneaky vodkas had been consumed an hour or so of sipping politely on a chardy, the three of us were approached by three men. There were two young-ish blokes and one older fellow making up their trio and after making polite chit chat with them for 30 seconds, the three of us girls tried to get back to our vodka drinking quiet conversation. The trio of blokes however refused to leave us alone and kept trying to chat with us.
I of course, got stuck with the old bloke, who tried to woo me with all sorts of fascinating stories about, well, to be honest, I wasn’t really listening to him and was just standing there politely nodding while he chatted to me about god knows what.
After wasting 20 minutes of my life talking to some random old bloke, I started throwing cheeky questions into the conversation, in some sort of lame attempt to offend him, which I’d hoped would result in him and his kids younger mates leaving us alone.
“So tell me John, do you live with you mother?” I asked, while casually sipping on yet another vodka waiting patiently for his answer.
“As a matter of fact I do!” he replied
“How fabulous! And how many cats do you own? 2 or 3?” I continued with
“Just the two. Although Mum would love to get another one” may or may not have been his reply. I don’t actually know what his answer was because I was too busy trying to plan an escape route in my head.
My bestie then leaned over and whispered in my ear, “For gods sake, will you stop being so polite and just tell Grandad to piss off?! What is wrong with these men? We’ve told them we’re married and not at all interested in talking to anyone! What do we have to do to get rid of them?!”
It was at that moment that the band fired up and it hit me.
“Come on!” I shouted over the music to my girlfriends, before grabbing their hands and dragging them onto the dance floor, “Let’s dance!”
And right there, in the middle of an empty dance floor of the James Squire hotel, was where I busted out my Elaine moves in the hope that old mate and his two cling ons would finally get the message and disappear.
My two friends watched on in a mixture of horror and hysterics, while the three desperados sat at the bar taking it all in.
And what was their reaction when the song was over and we returned to the bar for yet another vodka a refreshing drink, I hear you ask?
Well brace yourself because old mate leaned across the bar and yelled, “Well, that was certainly very enthusiastic. Are you interested in learning how to ball room dance by any chance?!”
How about you? Ever done The Elaine Dance in the hope of scaring someone off or is there another tactic I should know about?!
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