Right, so remember the Mother’s Day post I wrote a few weeks back, outlining how you can get exactly what you want on Mother’s Day AND included several links to some fabulous gift ideas that you can forward to your husband? Well this post is the opposite of that. But feel free to email this post to your other half and/or children, because today’s Friday Five is all about gifts no mother ever wants for mother’s day and let’s face it, every partner around the world pretty much needs to know what those gifts are.
1 // Croc Ugg Boots. I mean, really. I have no words. Although they are hot pink and the thoughtful combination of thermal warmth AND waterproof plastic would be perfect for anybody out there who likes to, oh I don’t know, canoe in winter?
2 // World’s Okayest Mom. It did give me a laugh when I saw this t-shirt but I don’t really want to be known as an Okay Mom next time I drag the kids to the my local Westfield because there’s a sale on take the kids to the park. I mean, yes, I may have, on a very rare and stressful occasion, slipped a teeny tiny nip of vodka* into my reusable coffee cup while at the park, but that doesn’t make me an Okay Mom. That makes me a Slightly Tipsy Mom, which also happens to make a Completely Hilarious AND Ridiculously Attractive Mom. So how about we whack those slogans on a t-shirt instead?
3 // An Iron. Or any other Domestic Appliance for that matter. No woman wants anything like that as a gift EVER, let alone on Mother’s Day. Besides, Scott does all the ironing at our place so what would I even do with it? Also, pink is not his colour.
4 // Sweeping Slippers. Seriously?! These are actually a thing? My god. Imagine how awkward it would be to open your front door to sign for yet another online shopping package in those. The delivery guy would totally be all, “Um, maybe you should order less books and start ordering MORE SHOES.” Um, on second thoughts, maybe I will add a pair of these to my list.
5 // A New Mom g string. Now, I’ve heard of all sorts of commemorative gifts for new mums, but a New Mom/1st Mother’s Day G String? Yeah, not so much. I mean, that is a gift FRAUGHT with problems. For a start, the size will probably be wrong, so that’s awkward. Not to mention uncomfortable. And what exactly do you do with it? Put it in a box of memories and look back on it fondly every Mother’s Day while reminding yourself what an amazing husband/partner you have? Show your first born when he’s a teenager that this was the first gift he ever gave you? Get it framed and hang it in your hallway? Instagram it and make it your new Facebook profile pic? If nothing else, I guess it’s a gift with A LOT of options.
Have a great day on Sunday everyone. See you back here first thing Monday morning for our last Real Housewives of Melbourne recap for 2014 (Extensive Checklists and Fannies are optional…click here if you have no idea what the hell I’m on about xox)
* Everybody relax. AS IF I ever snuck vodka into my coffee cup while at the park with my kids. It was actually wine.
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