Five Signs Your Husband Is Having A Mid Life Crisis

Welcome to this week’s Friday Five, where we’re discussing the Five Signs Your Husband Is Having A Mid Life Crisis*  Let’s get straight into it, shall we?

*May or may not be based on actual events

1. He starts a new hobby

It’ll be something completely left of centre.  The type of thing that will make you think, “Huh.  I did not see that one coming” when he tells you he’s GOING TO PLANT A HERB GARDEN.

2. He makes a big announcement

One night when you least expect it, perhaps at the dinner table, he’ll make a big announcement that will leave you all gobsmacked.  

Perhaps he’ll tell you and the kids he’s leaving his job or taking up motor cross or joining a gym or maybe he’ll tell you that AFTER 20 YEARS OF SHOWING NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER IN COOKING, HE’S BEEN WATCHING JAMIE OLIVER ON YOU TUBE AND IS GOING TO START COOKING 15 MINUTE MEALS EVERY NIGHT FROM NOW ON AND *THAT’S* WHY HE PLANTED THE HERB GARDEN LAST MONTH.

You might drop your fork into the last meal you’ll probably ever cook, while your 15-year-old son will turn to his Dad and ask, “Dad, are you having a Christian Mid Life Crisis?”  This will make you laugh and also quite grateful that your husband hasn’t taken the more common approach of hooking up with a blonde 30 something he met through work.

3. He buys a sports car

Yes, he actually did.

4. He changes his appearance

One day, without warning, your husband will decide to do something about the way he looks.  He might want to update his wardrobe, lose a few kilos, get a new hairstyle or DECIDE TO GROW A BEARD.

You will not so quietly freak out about this.  Not because you’re anti-beard.  His brother has a beard and it really suits him.  Suits him so much he is basically a beer in a mason jar away from being called a hipster with his facial hair situation.  

But unfortunately those genes weren’t passed down to his brother – your husband – and the whole beard thing just does not suit his extremely handsome, yet slightly elongated* and quite lean face, one bit. You’ll tell him that repeatedly, because men LOVE IT when you nag at them 24/7, and yet surprisingly the beard will continue to grow.

However when your 11-year-old daughter drops the clanger, “Um, the beard doesn’t really work with the whole Guns thing Dad!” and follows it up with, “Also, it’s looking really grey which is awesome.  You’ll be able to dress up as Santa at Christmas and you won’t need to wear a fake beard!” things start to click and the next day, the beard is gone #THANKGOD

*that’s a polite way of saying long.

5. He starts wearing a shirt – with long sleeves

I mean I don’t even know what to say.

Is there a mid-life crisis happening at your place?  Does it involve herb gardens, cooking shows and shirts?! Got a husband who is a good sport and doesn’t mind his wife writing about him on the internet? Tell me all the things!