1. We both like to name things after ourselves
Donald Trump’s got casinos, golf courses and New York City buildings all bearing his surname.
I’ve got this blog which features my first name.
Some might say his name is slightly more well known than mine and he possibly has more responsibilities with those buildings and golf courses, but has Trump ever tried to write a blog? I think not.
I mean sure, he might have several more overheads than me to think about and possibly a few more staffing issues to sort out from time to time, but does he lie awake at night wondering about things like how he’ll keep his logo mobile responsive and what hashtag he’s going to use on his next Instagram photo? My guess would be a no.
That sort of thing is VERY stressful and quite frankly, some days I don’t know how I do it either. But here I am, belting out a blog post at 9.40pm on a Thursday night. And what do you think Donald is doing right now? That’s right, getting a spray tan.
2. People are fascinated with our hair
True story. You can’t deny that our hair gets talked about a lot. I mean, I have hair that looks like a spiral perm from 1987 and that really does fascinate people.
So much so, that I get asked at least twice a week by complete randoms, “Excuse me but is that your natural curl?” which is often followed up with, “Can I touch it?” (Yes it is. Um, I’d rather you didn’t but I’m too polite to say that so instead I’ll say, sure go ahead and stand there awkwardly while you actually touch my hair. FYI, asking to touch someone’s hair is WEIRD.)
Donald Trump has hair that looks like, well, I don’t want to start any rumours but has anyone ever seen Trump and a troll doll in the same room? Didn’t think so.
3. We both like to crap on about missing birth certificates
Well to be fair, it’s mostly DT doing the crapping on with this one. I’m just recapping what happens when a Real Housewife of Melbourne loses a birth certificate
Donald Trump tried to convince himself the good folk of the US of A for a solid two years that President Obama was also without a birth certificate.
Which reminds me, Donald, have you met PF? She’s the housewife who couldn’t find her son’s birth certificate and I think you two would get along quite nicely. If you could get one of your minions to find PF a chair to put her handbag on, she would love to tell you all about herself while you tell yourself how brilliant you are over and over again, out loud, for the entire world to hear.
4. We’re both a little bit delusional at times
I mean one has unlimited power and is NEVER wrong.
The other is running for president.
#seewhatididthere
5. We’re both pro guns
Yeah, we are.
And that, my friends, is the comeback edition of The Friday Five! Long time readers will remember I used to belt these posts out every Friday a few years ago and I’ve decided it’s time to bring them back.
If you’ve got a topic you’d like to me to write about in a future Friday Five, feel free to let me know in the comments section here or on the Facebook page. All suggestions welcome!
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