Every year in July my parents bugger off to Hawaii for 8 weeks and this year we’re joining Pam and Errol for 2 of those weeks. Well not literally. I mean we’re not going to be staying in the same hotel room as them or anything because that would do my head in be pushing the friendship a bit, but we are going to be there at the same time as them.
Now what you may or may not already know about me is that I’m not really into the beach. I mean I love walking along it and I like to take photos of it but if I had to sit on it all day, well my preference would be to do that in a nice restaurant that had views of the waves rolling in while I sipped on a cocktail and inhaled a salad.
Scott and the kids however LOVE the beach. They could happily swim in the ocean all day long if they could! So you can imagine their (and basically everybody else’s) response when it was decided that we would spend 14 days in a place that’s pretty much known for it’s beaches and nothing else.
“What are you going to do there Mum?”
“I didn’t think you liked the beach?”
“God, that’s like your worst nightmare! How are you going to cope with all that sand?”
and my personal favourite, “I guess you’ll just spend a lot of time at the mall?”
Well yes, probably, but also no. Because really, how often do you get to go on a family trip to Hawaii?!
So after the third or fourth comment that was flung at me about my love hate relationship with the beach, I made the following announcement:
“Excuse me, but I might just surprise you all and spend my time in Hawaii doing all sorts of beach related activities. I think I’ll give stand up paddle boarding a go and I might even go for a surfing lesson. I’ve always wanted to see an extinct volcano and how nice would it be to go for a brisk walk every morning along an actual Hawaiian beach? Yep, I’m going to surprise everybody on this trip! You can all call me ADVENTURE MOM!”
Cue crickets, gasps and dropping jaws.
Except for Sophie, who was BESIDE HERSELF at the thought of her mum becoming ADVENTURE MOM.
“That is so cool! Would Adventure Mom like to go swimming with dolphins? Because that’s something I’ve always wanted to do! Or maybe she could take me in a kayak to see a turtle? This is going to be THE BEST HOLIDAY EVER!”
“Um, well, Adventure Mom hasn’t really put a lot of thought into what she will and won’t be doing, but yeah, I reckon she could handle swimming with dolphins and turtle watching.”
Then Scott, being the supportive husband that he is, piped up with this little chestnut:
“How about parasailing? How does Adventure Mom feel about that?”
Cue a cheeky grin (him) and a forced smile with a gritted teeth chaser (me) “Adventure Mom does not do anything that involves heights, parachutes or small propellers.”
“Well that’s a shame. I’m guessing she’s not a fan of helicopters either?”
“You guess correctly. Adventure Mom is basically keen to do borderline sedate water based activities and very light cardio workouts. For example, a gentle walk a quarter of the way up a mountain before turning around to head out for a cocktail or a morning walk to the buffet the end of a beachside boardwalk and back would be perfect examples of what she’s up for.”
“What about swimming with sharks Mummy?! I saw this video on YouTube where a mum went in a cage and sharks swam all around here. Adventure Mom would totally do that!”
Yeah, I bet she would. I don’t know about you, but this Adventure Mom chick is sounding like a right pain in the arse!
Me and my big mouth. Honestly. If I’m not telling everyone I’m giving up the fizz for all of January (5 more sleeps to go people!), I’m announcing to anyone who will listen that I’m going to morph into some sort of overweight adrenalin junkie the minute I hit US soil!
Clearly I did not think this Adventure Mom thing through.
Have you been to Hawaii? What adventure based activities did you get up to? Please tell me they involved shopping, poolside cocktails and the occasional dip in the ocean!
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