How Not To Network

Ok, so as you know I was at Problogger on the weekend.  

What is Problogger?

There’s 700 people at this thing and we’re all “OMG, HI!” with each other. There’s a lot of hugging, drinking, eating, note taking and business card swapping going on.

Occasionally we’ll even attend workshops about blogging and listen to inspirational stories about how it’s totally possible to turn 132 Instagram followers into 472 million raving fans within the next 12 months*

*may or may not be exact figures

To an outsider looking in, it would probably look a lot like a dodgy pyramid scheme convention where everybody is super pumped about flogging their shit to whoever will listen. For those of us who are there, it’s pretty much exactly like a dodgy pyramid scheme convention but with no dodgy bullshit and a lot more genuine love and support.

Ok, so now that the scene is set, it’s time to get your network on.

How Not To Network

I am useless at networking.  I just can’t do small talk and prefer to whip out borderline inappropriate one liners that make people laugh.  Sometimes it works, other times….not so much.

So on the cocktail networking night I got all frocked up and headed downstairs to the pool area to meet the other bloggers.

Thanks to Nicole from The Builder’s Wife for her expert photo taking skills all weekend!  Not sure what I’m doing with my arms, but they do look like I’m about to launch into the Chicken Dance at any given moment, don’t they?!

The first blogger I met was gorgeous and really lovely.  We chatted for a bit before I asked her what her blog is called, “Eat Pray Workout” was her reply.

“Well clearly we have nothing in common,” I replied.   “I mean I have exercise avoider written on my business cards!”

She laughed and we had a bit of a chat about the difference between avoiding exercise and not actually doing exercise (I told her I was an expert at both) before she picked up a glass of bubbly and said, “Cheers!” (top chick!)

I was then on my way and met up with another really lovely blogging duo who run a blog together called DIY Decorator.  I’ve met both Kylie and Sam before and their blog is a beautifully presented source of interior inspiration.  

We were chatting for a while when Sam told me she lived on a property and had quite a few animals.  

“Do you have any animals at your place, Kirsten?” she asked.  I of course answered with my standard response to this question which goes a little something like this, 

“There’s something you should probably know about me and it’s this:  I have a weird fear of anything that breathes and moves that isn’t a human being. I’m not really outdoorsey, but I do like to get drunk on patios.  Do you have a patio?”

This was met with a combination of laughter and sort of shocked gasps, which to be honest, I take as a compliment, before I went onto say that we have two guinea pigs but they’ve cost us a bloody fortune in vet bills (you can catch up on that little chestnut of a story right here) and that no, I haven’t held them or even touched them in the 12 months that we’ve had them.  

But don’t worry, because Scott and Sophie are hardcore animal lovers and they look after those guinea pigs like they’re the 5th and 6th members of our family, which quite frankly, I find a little bit odd, and would you listen to me, I think I’m rambling. I have a bit of doing that.  I’ll stop now.  Tell me about your patio.

And so, driving home towards the reality of not having a catering or housekeeping team on hand it struck me that while common interests are awesome, it’s our unique, individual quirks and differences that makes life so interesting and for me, funny.

So brace yourselves people, because if you want to learn how to grow a herb garden or you’re looking for 72 ways to blend kale, this is not the blog for you.  I’m on a mission to bring funny to the everyday and bring it, I will!

Do you have a patio?  Or maybe a guinea pig? Or perhaps you sell Amway? Tell me everything!