If you’re new around these parts, you might not have meet my mum yet. Her name is Pam, and up until 6 months ago, she didn’t know what a blog was or that I even had one, which of course, means I mention her here from time to time because that’s how our family rolls! You see, we sort of have this weird thing where we try to embarrass each other with funny childhood stories and let me tell you, Mum telling anyone and everyone who will listen about the time I pee-ed my pants while on a church camp back in 1982 never gets old.
Anyway, earlier this week, Pam took the embarrassment factor to whole new level and it is a story too good not to share. Also, it kind of means I’m getting her back for embarrassing me with the story that’s about to unfold, which of course is the real reason I’m telling you all of this. So here we go with this week’s Friday Five: Borderline Stalker Edition. Enjoy!
1. The Lead Up
So mum and dad decide to take a mini-break and by complete random coincidence, happen to check into the very same Noosa hotel as an elite group of Australian bloggers, collectively known as The Remarkables, who were staying there for a conference. Now I only knew where the Big Bloggers were staying because I stalk a few follow a few of them on Instagram, but once I figured out that Pam could possibly be sipping on poolside pina coladas next to one, or god forbid, all of the Big Bloggers, I began to loose my tiny mind because I knew exactly what was about to unfold!
2. Mum Catches On
So I sent mum a quick text telling her she’s staying in the same hotel as many of my blogging idols and under no circumstances, I repeat NO CIRCUMSTANCES, is she to approach any of them. Mum quickly replies with, ‘Oh yes, I think I’ve seen them already. There’s a large group of very attractive women standing in reception all holding iPhones, iPads and lap tops. That would have to be them?’ Oh god, I think to myself, Here.We.F*&king.Go.
3. The Stalking of Mrs Woog Begins
I’m then met with what can only be described as a barrage of text messages, as mum frantically tries to track down Mrs Woog. You see, I was silly enough to mention to mum last week that I was doing a guest post on Woogsworld, which of course was met with all sorts of questions, including but not limited to, “Is that her real name?” and “what do you mean by guest post? Do you have to go to her house to do that?” and my personal favourite, “That’s very exciting. I have absolutely no idea what any of it means, but it sounds fabulous. Now, whose drink needs a top up?”
So when mum realised that the lovely Mrs Woog, who, I might add, has kindly been giving me some much needed blogging tips in the past few weeks, was staying at the same hotel, it was Game On. A game that basically involved Mum completely and utterly winding me up via text message…
4. The Wind Up
Mum: “Off now to hunt down Mrs Woog”
Me: “I’m sure she will LOVE that”
Mum: “Will tell her u sent me”
Me: “OMG. PLEASE DON’T”
Mum: “Will get a photo with her”
Me: “OH FFS. You’d be better off to go and do a bit of shopping or prop yourself up at the bar for a while. PLEASE go and do that instead.”
Mum: “Trust me, I only need 2 more champers and I’ll find her”
Me: “OMG. THERE’S NO NEED. HONESTLY!!!!”
5. The Photo
But then, things went quiet for a few hours. THANK GOD. So I put the phone down and got on with my day. Little did I know that Pam was on one hell of a stalking mission and at approximately 2.16pm on Monday, while I was innocently standing in the cleaning aisle of Coles, thoughtfully trying to decide whether I should buy dishwashing tablets or powder (FYI, I went for the tablets. They were on sale) I received this:
Now I don’t know about you, but when I took one look at that, I burst out laughing. Which, I have to say, made me look just a little bit mental to anyone walking by because it totally looked like I was laughing hysterically AT DISHWASHING POWDER. I could not believe Mum had bowled up to Mrs Woog like that and asked for a photo, but it definitely gave me one hell of a laugh, even if I did want to crawl under a rock and die a slow, embarrassing death!
Once the embarrassment factor had died down a bit, I took that photo, ran it through a filter (Valencia, for the Instagram lovers playing along at home), whacked it up on Facebook and Instagram and promptly sent mum a text to tell her I’d posted the photo for all to see. And what, I hear you ask, was her reply?
“Fabulous. Now, how do I get onto your instagram?” UM, YOU DON’T!
So tell me, what embarrassing things have happened to you lately? And are you cringing as much as me?
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