Ever wondered how to travel like a Mummy Blogger?
Join me as I take you on a step by step guide.
How to travel like a Mummy Blogger
by Kirsten Smith from the almost popular blog, Kirsten and co.
Step One: Get invited to a blogging event in a different state
In this case it was the book launch of Primary School Confidential, written by my wonderful blogging mentor and friend, Mrs Woog.
You’ll find my contribution, a chapter titled ‘The Benefits of A Station Wagon’ on Page 18. I KNOW. I am deadset pinching myself too!
Step Two: Book your flight using frequent flyer points
This will ensure that you have secured yourself a couple of fabulous Mummy Blogger travel perks.
- Your fare will be completely inflexible and non-refundable.
- You will enjoy the comfort of an excellent seat right down the very back of the plane.
How are these things perks, I hear you ask?
You see the Mummy Blogger will need to make her flight bookings while the children are entertaining themselves. This means she has approximately 4.2 minutes to decide on flight times before needing to wipe up some form of bodily fluid (not her own), change the channel on the remote (from ABC Kids to Nick JNR) and find the iPad (again, not her own).
This is an intense pressure situation and is something this Mummy Blogger likes to call a PANIC PURCHASE.
Usually the minute after you’ve selected a flight time and hit process, you’ll realise there’s some school function that you have to attend (if it’s at the beginning of the year, it’ll be an info night about how to raise happy children – spoiler alert, the answer is sugar – and if it is towards the end of the year, it’ll be an info night about what to expect the following year – spoiler alert, more of the same but with taller children)
At first you’re all, OMG I WON’T BE ABLE TO GO TO THE INCREDIBLY BORING SCHOOL THING but then you realise, OMG I’M A MUMMY BLOGGER AND I TOTALLY JUST BOOKED A COMPLETELY INFLEXIBLE AND NON-REFUNDABLE FLIGHT USING POINTS. SUCKED IN HUSBAND! YOU HAVE TO GO AND TAKE THE KIDS!!
As for sitting down the back of the plane, well, it’s not an ideal situation but let’s look on the bright side.
It’s where the toilets are located, it’s where the food is prepped and it’s where the families with young children are seated.
So basically it will be like you never left your own home! You’ll be surrounded by young children screaming, food being dropped on the kitchen floor and delightful smells wafting from the toilet that aren’t your own.
For however long your flight is, you won’t feel the slightest bit homesick so your travel plans are off to a cracking start!
#seatgoals
Step Three: Checking in luggage is for the weak
There is no need to check in a suitcase when you’re a Mummy Blogger.
That’s because we’re highly efficient bag packing ninjas who refuse to waste time lining up just to throw a suitcase on a conveyor belt.
Yep, we can stuff a week’s worth of gear into an overnight bag AND jam that thing into the overhead locker above our seat all while Instagramming our every move.
I mean you don’t dedicate the first 3 years of your child’s life to squeezing 47 nappies, 3 packets of baby wipes, 4 outfit options, a 6.5 course degustation dinner and your camera complete with tripod, spare battery pack and 3 lenses into your child’s nappy bag every time you leave the house, without it paying off at some point.
That point is now. When you become a Carry On Luggage Only Mummy Blogger who sits at the very back of the plane!
Step Four: Skip The Lounge
Mummy Bloggers don’t need to be hobnobbing it in The Lounge.
Who needs to be sitting in a quiet, kid free environment surrounded by nothing but piped music and the occasional pompous git talking loudly on his mobile phone while you sip on a Nespresso or a crisp cab sav while a lovely staff member presents you with a cheese platter and gives you a gentle reminder that your plane will be boarding in 10 minutes?
Not a Mummy Blogger, that’s for sure!
No, we prefer to line up at the juice bar in the crowded airport food court and hand over 8 bucks 50 for a mixed berry smoothie on skim milk, thanks very much.
Then we’d quite like to almost lock ourselves in the public toilets thanks to a faulty lock that is refusing to budge no matter how hard you try to unlock it. This might result in you wondering if you should climb over the top off the stalls to make your way out of the toilet because god knows there’s no way you’re going to be making direct contact with the floor and crawling under the door.
But then you remember the time one of your kids accidentally locked themselves in the loo at the park and you push the lock thingy with your finger and BAM! the door flies open #crisisaverted
Step Five: Instagram Your Flight
Every Mummy Blogger knows that if you don’t Instagram ALL of your movements, none of them actually happened.
So make sure you take a photo of the clouds because then everyone will know you were on a plane!
#mumlyfe #clouds #sky #wow #sydney #amazing #blue #fun #random #monday #me #skyporn #grateful #blessed
Step Six: Meet up with another Mummy Blogger
Mummy Bloggers like to travel in pairs, so when you reach your final destination make sure you’ve organised to meet up with a friend.
In today’s example I met up with Emily from Have A Laugh On Me. She flew in on a different flight but followed all of the above steps and landed 30 minutes after me. We met at the escalators of Terminal Two and shared an uber to our hotel, which brings me to my next point.
Step Seven: Know your uber app
Mummy Blogger’s love Uber. It’s quick, reliable and cost-effective, leaving the Mummy Blogger more money for important things like gifts for the kids wine.
However it’s important to remember to keep your Uber App switched to the peasant setting and not the Black setting. Otherwise you will be traveling in Extreme Uber Style every time you use the app to hail a driver and end up with a VERY expensive Uber bill!
Or so Emily and I have heard.
Step Eight: Sneak in some airport shopping
This is probably the most important tip of them all. Shopping at domestic terminals is definitely a thing, so make sure you give yourself plenty of time to do some.
I made a sneaky SYD-BNE pre-flight purchase at French Connection where I picked up this Sequin Spot Tee (Size S) on sale for $39! Wearing it with Country Road Utility Drill Pants (Size 14) and Witchery shoes (not current)
#everydaystyle
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