I don’t know about you, but time fascinates me.
Every now and again I wonder what it would be like to turn back the clock and alter the path of your life.
Up until now I’ve never wanted to rewind on anything.
Shitty friendships? They can stay in the past thanks very much.
Horrible bosses? Yeah, not a fan of working for another one of those anytime soon.
The girl who sat behind me in Year 10 and threw spit balls into the back of my head for 60 minutes because I had hair that looked like a spiral perm even though I her promised it wasn’t? Actually I probably wouldn’t mind running into her…at least she’d know it definitely wasn’t a perm! I mean, apart from our good mate Charmaine, does anyone actually get a spiral perm these days?!
Charmaine loves a good perm!
But now that I’m a couple of months in to this whole IIH thing (If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, you can catch up by reading this post) I want nothing more than to go back to yesterday.
You know, when I didn’t have to swallow 372* tablets a day (*not the exact amount), when I could see properly, when I didn’t know the lovely ladies at the local pathology clinic by their first names, when filling out medical forms didn’t make me stabby, when I didn’t have to spend so much f*$king time sitting in such f^%king ugly waiting rooms, when I didn’t have to explain to well-meaning yet slightly power tripping medical receptionists why loosing your vision at the age of 42 might be considered ‘urgent’ and if they could please get back to me with an appointment time within the next week that would be appreciated, when the tablets I’m taking didn’t make me want to sleep all day, when I could finish sentences and not forget words, when I was me.
Seriously. When all of this bullshit medical stuff is done and I’m better (god knows when that will be, but I’ve given myself a time frame to kick this IIH thing to the kerb by Christmas and once I’ve made up my mind to do something, look out, because nothing will stop me!) I’m going to do two things.
The first thing I’m going to do is throw a huge party to celebrate the fact that I’m off the hideous drug that is Diamox. Honestly, the side effects are BRUTAL. If you’re having a rough day and would like some cheering up, just google it. I promise you will feel so much better knowing you don’t have to take 2000mg of it a day!
And the second thing I’m going to do is get rid of the feral lime green paint at Sweary Neuro Bloke’s waiting room. I don’t quite know how I’m going to do that. Maybe get myself a gig on some sort of renovation makeover show? Or tweet a link to this blog post to Scotty Cam? Who knows, but one way or another, that hideous green has got to go!
How about you? Feel like joining the pity party and telling me what you’d like to rewind the clock on? Or maybe you know Scotty Cam and can get rid of that green paint for me? Either way, I’d love to know!
PS: I wrote this post a couple of days ago, when clearly I was having an off day. Yesterday I went to see a new eye specialist and just look at the hot mess of a waiting room I was greeted with:
Honestly, it’s like the universe is trying to tell me that my calling in life is to create a TV show that does nothing but makeover waiting rooms!
It was also like I had walked into 1989. For a start, I’m fairly sure Pam had that painting on her wall in 1989 and she definitely had a leather couch in that exact shade of peach (or is it apricot?) in the late 80’s/early 90’s.
Also, the lovely ladies behind that peach/apricot desk did EVERYTHING manually. There wasn’t a computer in sight. Just A LOT of alphabetized patient cards, pencils and one whopping big appointment diary. I mean if I didn’t know better, I’d say I just scored a walk on role in Back To The Future.
Jokes aside, it turns out that eye specialists who endorse old school waiting rooms are top blokes who really know their stuff. I’m pleased to report that there is officially some improvement in both eyes and after I visit Sweary Neuro Bloke next week I might even be allowed to drop back on the diamox by two tablets a day. HOORAY!
Don’t get me wrong, I still want to go back to yesterday, but today I’m much happier about tomorrow than I was three days ago!
How about you? Want to go back to yesterday or want to face things head on and charge full steam ahead with me?
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