IKEA Olympics. Imagine If They Were A Thing.

I know this will shock you when I say that I’m not exactly the competitive sporty type.  

In fact my life motto is Slow And Steady Wins The Race, but on Monday I discovered that I do in fact have an epic sporting talent and one that makes me wish there was such a thing as the IKEA Olympics.

Because if there’s one thing I know for sure, my ability to whip through those 3 levels of arrow filled pathways while stopping to admire random lounge room set ups AND pass the HUGE number of slow walkers that seem to insist on visiting IKEA on a regular basis, would undoubtedly see me take out the gold medal!

On Your Marks, Get Set, GO! 

You see since we’ve moved into our new place, I’ve visited IKEA more times than I care to remember.  Each time I adopt the same borderline athletic approach, which I feel you should embrace too:

1. Research your purchases on their website first. (This avoids having to stand back and admire every single piece of furniture that catches your eye, while yelling out to your husband/partner/shopping friend for the day, “What do you think of this?” as IKEA Olympic athletes (AKA, me) try to navigate their way around you.)
2. Pick a day to go that’s not pouring with rain or a public holiday (trust me, if you go on either of those days you will live to regret it.  And possibly need a quick post-IKEA visit to a therapist)
3. Plan your escape route shopping route well in advance, taking note of short cuts (FYI: If you only need to go to the decorator section on the lower levels, head to the food court.  Avoid eye contact with anyone eating meatballs and take a sharp left once you hit the lift.  There you will find a large set of concrete stairs that will take you straight down to the vast array of vases, storage baskets and various other items that none of us actually need yet we all will purchase, without having to endure the pain and torture of Level One*)
4. Wear comfortable shoes (brisk walking on concrete floors requires a serious level of comfort)
5. Be prepared to say the words, “Excuse me” and “Sorry, could I just get passed you?”  and “Don’t worry, I didn’t get you in the photo” to various randoms that may cross your IKEA Olympics path, as you whip through the displays on Level One.

* please note this insider tip only applies to IKEA Logan, Brisbane.  It’s the only IKEA I’ve ever been to, but visiting one in Sweden is totally on my bucket list.

Taking photos of room inspo. It’s definitely an IKEA thing.

Once you’ve made your way through the levels of IKEA goodness, head to the Help Yourself To 772 Kilograms Of Flat Pack section. Think to yourself that if somebody wanted to kidnap you, this remote part of the building would be the ideal spot.

Can anybody hear me?

Haul your much needed items off the shelf and place them on the awkward to push trolley.  Carefully arrange all the other items that you don’t actually need but kind of had to have and take a photo of them.

Get home and apologise to your husband for purchasing yet another flat pack but congratulate yourself on becoming an official IKEA Olympian because you got yourself in and out of the big blue building in under 45 minutes.  That has GOT to be some sort of record! 

You’re Welcome! 

How do you feel about IKEA?  Do you wish IKEA Olympics were a thing too?