Right this very minute, as I am typing this post, there is a house being built next door to us.
It’s a stinking hot day in Brisbane and as I look out the window I can see a bloke working on the site, who is probably in his mid to late 20’s. He’s hard at it, lifting timber and various other heavy-looking things from the back of his ute and lugging them up a fairly steep pile of dirt that will eventually become a driveway.
His skin is so pasty white I reckon there’s a fair chance we could see him from the moon, his shorts are hanging low enough so that there is a lovely display of builders crack staring back at me whenever I look out the window and his very round shirtless stomach might suggest that he’s had his fair share of pies for morning tea from the food van whenever it pulls up.
He’s got the radio in his ute blasting and he’s singing away to some 80’s tune that Scott would know and he’s laughing with his builder mate about something. Basically, he’s working on a Saturday, he’s probably a good 20 kilos overweight and he’s having the bloody time of his life.
Imagine If We Didn’t See Size
Over the years, I’ve spent a lot of time shopping with girlfriends and trying on clothes in change rooms. It’s during these times that you say some awful things about yourself and hear your friends (and randoms in change rooms beside you) say similar things too.
Here are just a few examples:
“That really suits your skin tone” “What? Pale and pasty?”
“I’m going to need a spray tan and some REALLY good suck me in undies to pull this look off”
“I hate my arms.”
“I never wear shorts. Have you SEEN my thighs?!”
“My boobs are enormous. They’re basically missiles that will take your eye out if you’re not careful. It’s not as fun as it sounds.”
“This would look great if I was 10 kilos lighter.”
“This could work if I was maybe a few inches taller and wasn’t such a heifer.”
“This would work if it was anyone but me.”
“I don’t do sleeveless. I just couldn’t do that to the general public.”
A while ago I walked into a change room and there was a lady standing in front of a mirror in the most magnificent red ball gown. She looked incredible. So incredible that she actually took my breath away when I walked in.
She was standing in front of the mirror, with the sales assistant beside her and all I could hear her say was, “I just don’t know. My stomach looks like it’s sticking out too much.” I walked up to her and said, “Excuse me, I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you look absolutely stunning.”
The lady turned around and said, “Really?!”
“Yes! Really, ” I replied. “Honestly, I actually gasped when I walked in and saw you standing there. I don’t know where you are going but you need to be wearing that dress. You look amazing.”
Turns out the lady was going to a very fancy black tie wedding, where she was the step-mother of the bride.
“Oh this gown would be perfect!” I exclaimed.
“It’s just that I’m a bigger lady and I don’t usually wear this sort of thing and I don’t want to look ridiculous” came the lady’s reply.
“I didn’t see size. I just saw amazing. You definitely don’t look ridiculous” I said before apologising to the sales assistant for interrupting things and slipping into a nearby change room to try on a pair of shorts.
Can you imagine how different our world would be if as women, we didn’t see our size? Or our own warped body issues? And just saw amazing?!
Do you reckon old mate from the building site next door, or any bloke for that matter, EVER stands in front of a mirror and says to himself, “This would look amazing if I just did something about my thighs?” or looks at a menu and thinks, “I wonder if they do a carbless crust on their pizzas here?”
I’m not saying we all need to start embracing beer guts and quarter pounders but I am saying we could all probably do with being a bit kinder to ourselves, don’t you think?
There’s some saying floating around about body image that goes along the lines of ‘if you wouldn’t say it to your best friend or your daughter, don’t say it to yourself’ and I couldn’t agree with it more.
I know it’s a hard thing to do and we’re usually all our own worst critics/enemies, but there’s nothing wrong with telling yourself you look good! And if someone else says it to you, reply with a ‘thank you’ not a ‘OMG do you think so, because I think this dress makes me look like 10 tonne Tilly’
You’re not up yourself if you think you look half decent in what you’re wearing. You’re confident and quite like yourself and that’s a good thing!
And if you really, truly, honestly think your arms, legs, whatevs do need a bit of help then get off the couch and go for a walk. That’ll soon fix things and if nothing else, it is a bit lovely to be outside in the fresh air.
But most of all, don’t let life pass you by because you’re too embarrassed to go for a swim at the beach or you loved that dress but it didn’t have sleeves or you’re waiting until you’ve lost a few more kilos to do that one thing you’ve always wanted to do.
Be kind to yourself and get out there and get amongst it! What do you think? Are you in?
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