Well, after months of trying, I’ve finally managed to get hold of Charmaine and ask her a few questions!
If you’re new around here and don’t know who Charmaine is, please read this post. It explains everything. And this post is also quite helpful. We’ll wait for you to come back. Promise.
Now if you remember, a few weeks back, I found Charmaine via her MySpace page and did a bit of snooping that unveiled a number of interesting facts about her life. Today, as promised at the end of that post, I’ve got all the answers to the questions you’ve been DYING to ask Charmaine. So grab yourself a cuppa and pull up a comfy chair, because Kirsten and co. is about to go where no blogger has been before…1982!
Hi Charmaine! Welcome to my blog. It’s so good to have you here!
Thanks. I’m kind of new to this whole blogging thing. Could you remind me again what the name of your blog is?
It’s called Kirsten and co.
(lights up a cigarette and takes a long drag) Never heard of it. Sounds a bit up itself. What sort of things do you blog about?
Oh you know, general day-to-day things that happen to me, recipes of baked goods I’ve made, funny stories.
And people read that? Bloody hell. No offence, but that sounds boring as batshit to me.
(Fixes paper on clipboard while mildly eye rolling out loud) Oh no offence taken. At.All. I promise it’s not as boring as it sounds. In fact, I’ve got some great questions for you from a few of the readers, which I’m sure you will love. Can we make a start?
(stubs out cigarette and cracks open a can of diet coke) Sure. But you’ll have to make it quick. Barry’s home this week, so we’re taking advantage of the alone time while the twins are at school and taking my Ford Capri out for the quick spin. God, that made me sound a bit up myself didn’t it? Telling everyone I drive a Ford Capri!
Not at all. Where are you two love birds off to?
I’m not sure yet. Barry’s desperate to do another drive over the bridge to Bribie Island, but I can’t really be bothered. To be honest, I quite like just driving around town with the top down, you know? We get a lot of looks when we do that. My friends tell me it’s probably because of my big hair or the fact that Barry’s a bit of a safety nut and likes to wear his high vis overalls everywhere, but I reckon they’re all just jealous! What’s that saying all the kids use now? (taps forehead) Oh yeah, Haters Gonna Hate!
(Tries not to laugh) Yep, they sure are. Personally I think more people should embrace big hair and apparently overalls are all over the catwalks of New York, so I’d say old Bazza is well and truly one step ahead of the fashion game! Ok, let’s get started with the reader’s questions, shall we?
Sure. Why not?!
Right, so first up we’ve got Mrs Woog from the blog Woogsworld.
Holy shit. Really?! I’ve read her blog and she is one funny chick. What does she want to know?
Well she would like to know what you think of the Paleo Food Movement.
(chokes on a mouthful of diet coke) The what?
The Paleo Food Movement.
OH, PALEO! Sorry I misheard you and thought you said the Fabio Food Movement. I was all excited for a minute there, thinking that Fabio was releasing a cookbook!
Nah, I don’t go for any sort of ‘movement’ that requires me to eat cauliflower instead of carbs. I mean, more power to you if that’s what you’re into, but since when did pizza come with a cauliflower crust? That’s just odd. Mind you, if the cauliflower pizza was being served to me by Fabio, well, that could change things entirely.
Ok, next question comes from Lyndel. She’d like to know who your fashion icons are and what would your outfit of choice be for a big night out?
Great questions Lyndel! I love fashion and have quite a few icons.
So there’s (counts on fingers) um, 80’s Madonna, not the current Madonna, obviously.
Carrie Bradshaw, not Sarah Jessica Parker. I get those two confused all the time. They look so similar, you know?
Gina from The Real Housewives Of Melbourne and that blonde chick from Melrose Place. What’s her name? The married to Richie Sambora?
Heather Locklear?
Yes! That’s her! My god she is stunning.
She is. Although I don’t think she’s married anymore?
What? Are you joking? When did this happen?
Um, I’m not sure but I’ll google it for you if you like?
Please do. This is devastating news. Bon Jovi is one of my favourite bands. Although I can’t believe Richie Sambora might be single. Fark. Barry better watch out!
Can you also google if they’re touring here anytime soon? And should I bring my own sharpie for Richie to sign my limited edition Slippery When Wet album? God, I lined up outside the record shop for hours to get my hands on that piece of vinyl. Imagine what it would be worth with Richie’s autograph on the front of it?!
(looks up from phone) It looks like they got divorced in 2006. Not sure when Bon Jovi are touring next but yeah, I’d say it’s probably a bring your own sharpie situation.
That’s very clever how you were able to tell me all of that in under 30 seconds. I really must upgrade my little Nokia to one of those iPhones everybody keeps talking about.
You must! They are the business. So did we get all of your style icons in there? I’d hate to disappoint Lyndel by getting side tracked with all the Bon Jovi talk!
Ok, so there’s 80’s Madonna, Carrie Bradshaw, Katy Perry, Heather Locklear and, oh yeah, Richard Wilkins.
I’m sorry, did you say Richard Wilkins?
Yep. He has an incredible head of hair. And has aged so well. Do you reckon he’s had Botox?
I can’t say I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about Richard Wilkins and Botox, but I guess we can’t deny the fact that he’s got a superior head of hair. So what would be your outfit of choice for a big night out?
It’s funny you should ask that question, because a couple of weeks ago we went to a dead set posh awards night for Barry’s work.
Barry was up for Boiler Maker of The Year and told me to frock up. I’m not really into wearing dresses. They make getting in and out of the Ford Capri a bit tricky, you know?
So I ended up wearing the dress I wore to my school formal. I think it might have shrunk a bit, cos it was a bit tight, but my god I got a lot of gasps from Barry’s workmates when I walked into the ballroom. I think it was the puffy lilac sleeves that took everyone’s breath away.
Sounds lovely. Do you have a photo? I’m sure the readers would love to see it.
Oh love, I wish I did, but I only dropped my roll of film off at the chemist a week ago, so the photos aren’t developed yet.
Bummer. Ok, well onto to the next question. Anya from Clear Design Studio would like to know what you think about current decorating trends?
I’m not really into decorating trends, but I do have a thing for peacocks. I have a stunning peacock inspired wreath on my front door and a beautiful peacock themed canvas hanging in my hallway. I’ve also got my eye on a beautiful set of peacock coasters, which I’m hoping Barry will buy me for Christmas!
Sounds lovely! Not to mention very soothing. All those peacock colours sound very tranquil.
I get that a lot actually. When friends come over they’re all like, “Wow. That 6 foot hight peacock canvas is amazing. Where DID you get it?”
I hope you don’t tell them. You can’t let decorating secrets like that out!
I totally agree. Although someone told me that pineapples are all the rage at the moment, so who knows, maybe peacocks will be next?
They just might be! Ok, so Kylee would like to know if your twins, Mersaydees and Saturday, have inherited your hair?
They have! Both girls have the most gorgeous head of hair, that honestly looks just like a spiral perm. I mean, talk about lucky!
They both spend hours, hours I tell you, straightening their curly locks and I’m forever telling them that people spend a fortune to get curls like theirs. And do you know what those two cheeky buggers say back to me? They say, “Yeah right Mum. Maybe in 1982 they did, but not in 2014.”
Teenagers! They just don’t know how lucky they are, do they?
You’ve got that right love! I don’t get why anyone would want to spend hours straightening their hair. Embrace the curl factor I say! I mean, look at you. It must take you bloody ages to get your perm looking so natural. Why on earth would you want to ruin it with a straightener?!
Um, my hair isn’t permed.
Really?! My god, it looks like it is. Wow. You hit the jackpot with those tight spiral curls. Did you get them from your mum or your dad?
Actually, nobody in my family has curly hair. I’m the only one. It’s a bit weird. I keep joking that I must’ve got them from the postman.
(leans in closely & whispers) Love, I don’t know you very well, but if I were you, I wouldn’t throw rumours like that around. Curls are very rare and hard to find. If nobody else in your family has hair that looks like a spiral perm, well, I’d be a bit worried. (Sits back in chair & clears throat) But I’m sure there actually is nothing to worry about. At least you can thank your lucky stars that you’ve actually got hair! Am I right?! (laughs loudly)
(tucks unruly curl behind ear) Um, sure.
(Charmaine laughs so hard, she has a coughing fit. Starts thumping her own chest and waving her left hand around wildly)
(panics) Are you ok? Can I get you a glass of water?
(recovers from coughing fit) No thanks love. I’m fine. I’ve really got to give up the fags. The doctors keep telling me they’re no good for my asthma, but seriously, what would they know?
Why were you waving your hand around like that? Did you need me to grab your inhaler?
God no. Whenever I have a coughing fit like that, I wave my hand around and Barry knows it’s code for “Hurry up and get me a West Coast Cooler.” Those things are brilliant for soothing a dry throat!
Right. Well I’m very sorry I didn’t know the code. Not that it would’ve been much good even if I did know it, as I’m all out of West Coast Coolers at the moment.
Yeah, they’re bloody hard to find, that’s for sure. Barry reckons I should switch to Bicardi Breezers. You know, like those hipsters drink? I told him if he ever served me a drink in a used jam jar with a paper straw in it, I’d shove the paper straw fair up his arse!
I’m not entirely sure hipsters drink Bicardi Breezers, but I get where you’re coming from. I think. Anyway, our last question comes from Emily from Have A Laugh On Me. She’d like to know what you would do with $100,000?
Well I wouldn’t be buying used jam jars, that’s for sure! (laughs) Geez, I dunno. Barry and I have a thing for bridges and driving over the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is on his bucket list, so we’d definitely blow a fair bit of the cash on making that dream come true. I’d also really like some new tyres for the Capri and the twins are desperate for a bulk supply of Frizz Ease. They go through that stuff like you wouldn’t believe!
They all sound like excellent purchases! Hey, thanks so much for your time today Charmaine. I’ve loved chatting with you and I’m sure the readers of Kirsten and co. have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you a bit better.
Well thanks for having me. Sorry I said your blog sounded like it’s was a bit up itself and a boring at the start of our interview. I’m a bit of a nervous talker and I have a habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time!
That’s ok. We’ve all done it. I once told a very famous cricketer that he looked really familiar and did I know him from Big Brother, so I totally get the whole nervous talker thing.
God that would’ve been awkward. Imagine that! Those gorgeous young things on Big Brother would’ve been horrified to think you thought they were cricketers!!
Um….Ok, well on that note, I think we’ll wrap things up. Thanks Charmaine, you’ve been an absolute delight.
You’re welcome (smiles politely)
(stand ups and straightens out creases in acid washed jeans) Thank fuck that’s over. I’m gagging for a bourbon and a bowl of wedges. Want to join me?
I’d love to, but I’ve got a Skype session scheduled for 11am. Another time maybe?
You’re on. And bring your husband. I reckon he’d get on with Barry like a house on fire. Not literally of course. But you know what I mean. Bye!
And with that Charmaine picked up her oversized acid washed tote (yes, it matched her jeans!) and left me to it!
So what did we all make of that? I wonder if Charmaine got her hand on that mid-morning bourbon? If nothing else, she’s a bit of a character, isn’t she?!
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