A letter from our Elf on the Shelf
Dear Kirsten,
It’s Pixie here. Your Elf On The Shelf who you ordered online at the last minute last year after seeing so many fabulous ideas on Pinterest and deciding that you should get in on that action too. Remember?
I turned up on your doorstep and you were so excited. To be honest, it was kind of weird. I mean to hear a grown woman get all “OMG it’s here!” through the box I had been squeezed into on the other side of the world should’ve been a bit of a moment for me, but instead I was pretty much thinking “Well this is great. By the sounds of her accent, I think I’m in Australia. Stand by for giant insects to crawl over me while everybody is asleep and what is with her squealing like that?”
But then you took me out of the box and set me up in your daughter’s room with a book and a letter. I had a bit of a look around and decided you were probably one of those up yourself home maker types who loves to bake and write thank you notes, which lowered my non-existent heart rate a bit and made me feel much better.
Unfortunately your daughter decided I had creepy eyes and the whole concept of an elf coming to life at night while she was asleep completely freaked her out. Can’t say I blame her. I don’t know who actually came up with the concept, but really, when you think about it, it is a bit ridiculous!
I overheard you tell Sophie that you agreed with her. She became upset thinking about a creepy elf in her room, so you told her THAT I WASN’T EVEN REAL.
And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, you followed it up by telling her that maybe you could both have a bit of fun with me AND BLOG ABOUT IT.
If I could’ve eye rolled I think I would’ve actually fainted.
I mean there I was, stuck in a stinking hot country, surrounded by who knows how many insects and animals that could actually kill me at any given moment AND I was in the house of a MUMMY BLOGGER. The worst, most boring kind of blogger there is.
So this year I’m asking that you please not put me through the embarrassment of the following Elf On The Shelf antics. I know you and your readers thought they were hilarious, but honestly, they weren’t particularly flattering and some of them were extremely uncomfortable!
And besides, I want to start my own blog this year and I’ve got an online reputation to protect. I really don’t appreciate having these sorts of photos of myself floating around on the internet. Especially as my blog is going to be focusing on important issues such as
- How To Take A Good Elfie
- Elf Stole My Look and
- What To Do When Your Arms Aren’t Long Enough To Use An Elfie Stick.
Yours sincerely,
Pixie
I mean I was hanging upside down like this for 8 hours. I’m an Elf, not a member of Circ De Soleil!
So gross. Who knows how many butts had been on that thing before mine!
Thank god there wasn’t a kale smoothie chaser.
While I didn’t mind a bit of online shopping, you could’ve at least snipped my hands apart. How was I meant to order anything?!
See that’s just mean. Look how big my bum looks from that angle!
Am actually allergic to coconut. I was covered in hives for DAYS after this photo was taken.
Let’s cover her in stickers she said! It’ll be be fun she said!
Waiting patiently for the vodka….
Not really a fan of cooking things wrapped in plastic.
I give this hotel a 1/10 for comfort.
This one isn’t too bad. I could probably do with a mascara touch up though.
Game on Big Ted.
Fun Looms are so 2014.
Nearly suffocated in this one. Surely Workplace Health and Safety should have stepped in by now?
These guys were so boring. Didn’t say a word the entire movie.
#nailedit
You can find more Elf On The Shelf ideas on my Pinterest board. It’s a group one, so if you’d like to join in on the Elf pinning action simply follow the board, send me a message on Pinterest and your request will be accepted. See you there!
Follow Kirsten and co.’s board ELF ON THE SHELF on Pinterest.
Leave a Reply