So there’s an election happening in Queensland tomorrow, which reminded me of a post I wrote last year. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all political on you (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but I am going to re-share a little story with you about the time I kind of stalked Bill Shorten.
You can read the whole story in the original post, (not so) cleverly titled The Friday Five: Random Edition, but the condensed version goes a little something like this:
Scott was away for work (again) and I was preparing dinner for myself and the kids when I sliced open one of my fingers. I wrapped it up tightly and waited patiently for the throbbing to subside and the bleeding to stop. Fast forward to the next morning and neither of those things had happened, so after I’d done the school run, I took myself off to the doctors.
A gorgeous young doctor looked at my finger and informed me it wouldn’t need any stitches. Phew!
But then she asked me what I sort of knife I was using when the accident happened and because I have this irritating habit of cracking jokes whenever I’m nervous/excited/drunk (feel free to select which one of those I was at 8.30am on a Thursday) I replied with, “Oh just the biggest, dirtiest knife I had.”
To which the doc answered, “Right, well you are going to need a tetanus shot.”
That of course prompted me to say all sorts of hilarious things like, “That’s fine. But can you just shove it in quickly?” and “Sorry, but I can’t actually hold a conversation with you while you’re flicking that needle around like it’s something I should be looking forward to.”
She then burst out laughing and said, “Listen, you’re going to have to stop making me laugh if you want me to actually get this thing in your arm.”
So I shut up, she shoved the needle in and I didn’t feel a thing! So I turned to her and said, “Well that was easy. I don’t know what the hell you were worried about.”
Cue more laughing from the doctor and furious typing of notes into her computer, which I presume went along the lines of “Charming, witty and youthful looking young lady. Not at all a needle phob and welcome back anytime.”
So after that ordeal, I rang Scott to fill him in on my intense medical situation.
He was most sympathetic and only mentioned three times that he’d had a great night out at the pub with his mate the night before, so that was both caring AND considerate of him.
I then informed him that thanks to a rather large tetanus shot, my arm was now throbbing and since it was too early for vodka, I was going to head to the shops for some much needed retail therapy!
Home Sweet Home
So I get to my local Westfield and walk inside to find camera crews, journos and security guards swarming the place.
My first thought was, “Well this is quite the welcome!” but then I noticed a well dressed, older guy talking the to the lovely man at the engraving shop and realised it was Bill Shorten, leader of the Opposition Party.
I wondered what he was doing there and why he was surrounded by such a media circus, but then I saw that he’d just ducked into the fruit shop (obviously a vegan) before whipping into the engravers (must’ve needed some keys cut).
The ladies at the optometrist next door were waiting patiently at the front door, so obviously he was going to get his eyes checked too.
I’m not sure what he had to cross of his obviously lengthy ‘to do’ list after that, but the next shop was a nail salon, so I’m assuming a mani/pedi was in order!
Team Shorten
If you squint your eyes, lean to the left and jump up and down you can totally see The Billmeister chatting to Kev* the Engraver.
Those fierce looking blokes in the white t shirts are part of Team Shorten. Don’t they look like enthusiastic young blokes?!
And look at that camera man with his Superior Overhead Lighting. Bill must be a bit like the Kardashians…always needing good lighting, even when ducking into the mall to run a few errands! Interesting.
*May or may not be the engraver’s actual name
There’s more to the story, which can be found right here, but it basically involves me suggesting Bill Shorten might be a bit hot (clearly I was out of sorts after my medical ordeal to have ever thought that!) details of the purchases I made that day (Sussan, Kikki K and Portmans all get a mention) and a One Direction song (don’t ask), so I’ll let you decide if it’s worth a look or not!
Ever accidentally bumped into a politician? Are you voting tomorrow? Or just going for the sausage sizzle?
Leave a Reply