Spray Tans and Slippery Seats

Yesterday I caught up with a few new friends at an Instagram meet up.  It was a stinking hot day (think 40 degrees and no breeze to cool things down at all) so of course I slapped on the makeup as thick as I could and wore a borderline winter appropriate outfit.

After a couple of drinks were had, we started talking about how old we felt.  You know, because everyone around us was young, gorgeous and a rather odd shade of deep orange.  

We also spent a considerable amount of time whinging to each other about not being able to hear ourselves talk because THE MUSIC WAS SO BLOODY LOUD!

But back to the gorgeous young things and their very orange skin.

“How are they not sliding off this vinyl seat like I am?”  I asked 

“And why aren’t their clothes sticking to their legs like mine are?” (probably because they opted for fairly short shorts instead of long black nanna pants like myself)

“And what is with the orange glow they all seem to be sporting?” 

This of course led to a very lengthy discussion about the importance of spray tans.  

The group was firmly divided on this VIT (Very Important Topic) with roughly half getting them on a regular basis.

“It’s not embarrassing at all, you just stand there in a paper g string and hold your hands up above your head while the spray tanner aims the spray gun at you.”  

I don’t know about you, but that sounds hardcore embarrassing FOR ALL CONCERNED.

While the other half (and by that I mean me) were of the view that getting a spray tan would most likely result in the spray tanner needing some sort of counselling after seeing me wearing nothing but a paper g string.

Kylie, who blogs over at DIY Decorator, kindly suggested I should get a spray tan and blog about it. This idea was met  resulted in all the other women nodding furiously in agreement. 

“It would be so funny to read!” they said.

Well yes, it probably would be quite funny.  And fairly traumatic for all concerned!

After a few minutes of discussing how funny it would be, I decided that I’d be happy to get a spray tan so long as the spray tan operator

a) lives on the other side of town.  I mean there’s no need to be bumping into the poor love who gets to tan my topless body while doing the groceries, is there?!

b) has a little bit of a vision problem. You know, to protect her from the shock of seeing me wearing nothing but a paper g string!

So it looks like I’m locking in a spray tan in the next few weeks and blogging about it.  Let’s just hope that’s a blog post that NEVER GOES VIRAL!

Have you ever had a spray tan?  Do you think I should get one?  And how can I loose 15 kilos before I have to wear nothing but a paper g-string in front of a stranger?