I don’t know about you but things have been a bit Sugar Honey Iced Tea at our place lately.
Yes, I just spelt a swear word out as if there were kids in the room because clearly I
a) am having a mid-life crisis and am channeling my inner evangelist Christian (not that there’s anything wrong with that)
b) haven’t had a champers yet (plenty wrong with that)
c) have just been informed that several of Sophie’s friends from school read this blog which may or may not be giving me mild fauxiety*
d) it’s C. The answer is C.
*fauxiety (faux anxiety) is a self diagnosed disorder whereby you worry about something for approximately 4.5 hours before finally deciding life is too short to give a Sugar Honey Iced Tea about what other people think of you and go shopping instead.
So, What’s The Problem?
Well despite the fact the team of specialists I’m seeing all declared me to be well and truly on the mend back in October, things took an unexpected turn for the worse a few months back and we’re struggling to get this Intercranial Hypertension thing under control.
The Neuro doesn’t know why this has happened and is just as frustrated by things as I am.
So in a couple of weeks I’m off for another MRI of my brain (really hope they find one!) to “make sure we didn’t miss anything first time around.” Ok then.
Added to that there have been a few other things going on behind the scenes that have had me muttering “FFS”* under my breath on a very regular basis.
*Kids, that means For Fox Sake, but don’t say it school because you will get into a lot of trouble. The school has a strict Fox Free Policy. I know, it’s a bit strange. Talk to your mum about it and show her this blog post when you do. Hopefully she’ll laugh and not want to have one of those ‘little chats with me’ in the car park!
Find The Funny
But, I think you probably know me well enough by now to know that no matter how bad the Sugar and Honey content is in my Iced Tea, I try to find the funny wherever I can. Some days it’s A LOT harder than others but most days there’s something that gives me a bit of a laugh.
Like the time I went shopping at Kmart on Valentine’s Day. That was pretty funny. You can read about it in this post: Dear Diary We’ll wait for you to come back, promise!
New desk situation. Details will be in a blog post later in the week.
Or on the weekend when Guns randomly suggested that we should go to IKEA (Um, ok?) to get a new desk for my office (Ok! Let’s go right now before you change your mind.) We had quite a funny convo in the car on the way there, when I was explaining the side effects of one of the tablets I have to take each day.
Me: “It leaves a really gross taste in my mouth, kind of like when you eat too much sugar.”
Guns (AKA The Sugar Addict) “Yeah, I’m not really following the whole too much sugar thing.”
Me: Laughing “Um, how can I explain it to you?” I looked out the window and thought for a bit…. “I’ve got it! Ok, so you know that really gross feeling you get when you eat say a whole bag of fairy floss? It’s like that! Like your stomach feels really foul and there’s a horrible taste in your mouth and if you have any more sugar you might be sick. THAT’S what those tablets do if I have just one glass of wine. It’s so revolting.”
Guns: “Look I’m not trying to make this about me, because that does sound really quite horrific, but one bag of fairy floss? That’s called morning tea.”
Well that was me for the rest of the drive to IKEA. All I could imagine was Guns sitting at his desk, inhaling a bag of fairy floss with a Coke chaser for morning tea each day. I laughed so hard I had tears and for the first time in about a week they weren’t the sort that required a Sugar Honey Iced Tea load of tissues!
Then we got to IKEA and I informed Guns of my strict ‘we do not, under any circumstances, stop to look at the displays’ policy.
I also informed him that we are not Slow Walkers, nor are we Arrow Followers, that IKEA is the only place I ever break rules and if I can’t be in and out of the big blue building in under 30 minutes every time I visit it, I’ve failed at life.
Guns was all over this pep talk like he was at some sort of Olympic Trial. He set the timer on his watch and sprinted up the stairs.
I took the escalator because I don’t like to peak too early.
Anyway, as we weaved our throughout the building, power walking past prams, trolleys and people like semi-stylish versions of Kath Day and Kel Knight (google will provide you with fabulous visuals if you’re unsure who I’m referring to), I overheard someone say, “Aw man, now it’s stuck to my balls!”
There wasn’t any time to turn around to check if that person was carrying balls or not and it took everything within me not to laugh uncontrollably.
But then Guns leaned over and whispered, “That would be so uncomfortable. He’s going to have to walk bow-legged until he reaches the end of the arrowed line and we’re only on Level One” so I think that confirms that a) he wasn’t referring to balls that bounce and b) funny can be found in the most unexpected places.
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