Episode 6 of The Real Housewives of Melbourne kicks off with Chyka overseeing the catering of some fancy club at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) for AFL Grand Final Day. Naturally all the gals are invited and naturally they spend most of their time discussing important things like their Barbie names, all while sipping on champagne. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like the dream way to watch a game of footy!
L-R: Gamble, Pettifleur, Lydia, Chyka, Janet
The housewives also discuss their upcoming trip to Sydney. Unfortunately Lydia can’t come (she’s moving house) and neither can Chyka (she has a big job in Qatar and is on standby for a flight that’s leaving on the same day as the Sydney trip) so it’ll just be Gamble, Pettifleur, Janet and Gina jetting off to Sydney.
Pettifleur asked Gamble about her job (she works in an art gallery) which annoyed Gamble no end, so she thought, “Hmmm. Let me do the same to you Pettifleur.” This saw the commencement of Operation Piss Pettifleur Off whereby Gamble asked all sorts of hard hitting questions about Pettifleur’s property developing business. Pettifleur wasn’t rattled by this in the slightest and tells us, “She actually came across as a payback bitch” (as opposed to a Switch Bitch, I guess?)
The gals then discuss Chyka’s dinner party last week which was the perfect opportunity for Lydia to challenge Gamble about her beaviour that night. Gamble apolosgised (“I’d had too much to drink”) and Lydia accepted, but “really doesn’t care.”
Janet and Pettifleur then got cosy in a marquee to bitch about Gamble a little bit more. Pettifleur’s “getting really tired about the Janet Gamble saga” (you and me both sister!) and would like to all to end (jinx on you! Buy me a cocktail)
That marks the end of the footy game, so we then watch a few weird minutes involving Gamble packing for Sydney while she chats to Rick. Nothing to see or recap here, so let’s move on!
Next up, we find ourselves at Chyka’s house, where Jackie rocks up to discuss Gamble’s hens night. They sit outside in Chyka’s gorgeous garden to enjoy a bit of lunch while chatting. Jackie admires her teeth in a knife, while Chyka pours wine and tells Jackie that Gamble doesn’t want strippers at her Hens Do because it’s tacky.
Jackie disagrees, “We can certainly have a classy stripper. Instead of shaking his ding dong he can shake his butt! That’s classy!” (yep, totally classy)
Chyka politely suggests they have the Hens Do during the day (Jackie: “We’re not 90!”) with Karoke (Jackie: “Darling, what’s happened to you?”)
Chyka then tells a story about her hens night where she stripped down to her bra and undies in from of a table of sheep auctioners. Now normally I’d have some sort of semi witty, fairly snarky comment to make about that, but I licked chocolate body paint of the chest of a male stripper at my Hens Do, so this is definitely a Judgement Free Zone!
That awkward moment where you all wear gold
Next up we’re in Sydney! Yay! Gamble and Gina LOVE Sydney (“It’s a bit more naughty than Melbourne”) and they’re off to a cocktail party at the art gallery where Gamble works. On a random side note, is anyone else wondering how Gamble handles the commute from Melbourne to Sydney each day?
Anyway, the gals meet for pre-cocktail party drinks where Gamble announces that they’ll get to meet her sister at the event, “pre op cos she’s going to get a little bit of work done. She’s going to get a little bit of fat taken out of her chin, the jowls tightened up and some botox.” So that was a lovely rundown of her sister’s impending medical procedures and one I’m sure she didn’t mind Gamble telling us all about!
The housewives arrive at Billich Gallery where, if the number of people carrying cats and dogs is anything to go by, it’s obviously BYO Pet Night. There’s a nude painting of Gamble hanging on the wall and Pettifleur kindly points out that Gamble’s boobs are sideways, so that was nice.
Pettifleur then tries to have a conversation with Australian fashion designer, Charlie Brown (love her clothes BTW. Have several of her frocks hanging in my wardrobe), but some random called Lisa kept interrupting, so that was annoying. For Pettifleur. Not for me. I found it quite funny!
We then meet Gamble’s sister, Tempest, who despite her name isn’t an actress on Bold and The Beautiful. I don’t actually know what Tempest does for a living but I do know that she went in hard with lecturing Janet about being nasty to Gamble. Fingers were pointed, voices were raised and as Janet put it, “Tempest went from zero to 100 in about 5 seconds!”
Tempest (pre-op, obvs)
Tempest told Janet to “get some f*&king evidence” before spreading rumours about her sister and poor old Janet felt “totally over being attacked” so she left.
It’s at this point that Gamble admits to Tempest that her version of recent events between Gamble and Janet wasn’t entirely true. Tempest replies with, “Oh. Well. I probably need to apologise.” Yep, Tempest, I’d say you probably do.
Gamble leaves the cocktail party to try and find Janet/continue the argument on the street in front of several punters who are trying to enjoy a quiet beer in a pub.
TALK TO THE HAND!
Gamble tells us it was a “really feral moment. Not cool” which has me thinking that for once Gamble’s telling the truth!
Gina rocks up to play peacekeeper but Janet just wants to go home. Gamble grabs her, calls her a chicken and Janet gets in a cab.
Meanwhile, back at the art gallery, Pettifleur and Tempest are going at it. Tempest tells P, “You’re getting a bit boring”, Gina tries to call Janet, Random Lisa joins the group and asks, “Girls! I feel like I’ve missed something. Have I missed something?” Yep, fairly sure you’ve missed something luv, but don’t worry, I’ll shoot you through a link to this recap and you can catch up ASAP!
Croquet. It’s a tres classy game.
Back in Melbourne, Lydia, Chyka and Jackie catch up for a casual game of croquet. So obviously Lydia moved house in record time (same!) and Chyks didn’t manage to score a seat on the flight to Qatar (disappointing!)
After their game, the gals sit down for lunch. Janet called Lydia earlier and fill her in on what went down in Sydney town, so naturally the gals discuss it. Lydia starts mimicking Gamble, which Jackie thought was a bit rude but “it is what it is.” A huge gust of wind puts an end to their outdoor lunch festivities, so let’s get back to Sydney shall we?!
But first…let me take a selfie!
The Sydney Gals decide to go an a cruise around the harbour. Janet gives it a miss (sensible) while Pettifleur looked SPECTACULAR in her captains hat. She tells us, “one thing I didn’t want to look like was a dress up queen, so my outfit was a bit of fun, a bit of class and lots of sophistication.”
#NAILEDIT
They sail around the abroad and make a wish as they go under the bridge, because apparently that’s a thing. Gamble says, “I wish Janet was here and everything was resolved” so that was obviously a load of shit nice.
Watch your fingers BJ!
Meanwhile, back in Melbourne, Chyka is giving her son BJ a cooking lesson. During this scene this lovely mother and son moment, Chyka admits to being a bit of a control freak in the kitchen and is suitably mortified when her daughter points out that BJ is using the display tea towel. Now I don’t have a display tea towel, but I do have a kitchen aid and an aversion to sifting, so clearly Chyka and I need to do a cooking show together!
After the cooking lesson is done and dusted, we head back to Melbourne were the gals (and Random Lisa) are having dinner. Gamble apologies to Janet for the awkward run in with her sister, “It was my fault. I’d drunk a bit much. I get a bit silly sometimes.” Gina interupts, Janet tells her to butt out and leave if she’s unhappy (go Janet!) Gina replies with, “No, I’m not doing a big storm off like a skank!” (ouch!)
The convo goes around in circles for a while before Janet gives an eye roll that Julie Bishop would be proud off and they all make a pact to “zip it.”
Pettifleur then asks Gamble where her enagagement ring is, before telling her she’s “a diamond expert!” Cue more eye rolling and Gina making the suggestion they should start calling Pettifleur ‘Eddie the Expert’.
Pettifleur tells the girls that all have very loud voices and Gina retorts with, “you’ve got an accent…it’s backwards the way you say things” and that pretty much marks the end of Episode 6!
And that’s The Real Housewives of Melbourne Recap done and dusted for another week! What did you think of this week’s ep?
Thank you to Arena TV for the advanced copy of this week’s episode
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