As most of you would know I’ve spent the last 4-6 weeks waiting for test results. (You can catch up on what I’m referring to in the post, Have Courage and Be Kind, and the follow-up post, A Quick Health Update For You.)
During that time I’ve had a lot of really supportive messages, texts and conversations with family, friends and blog readers, which I’m really grateful for.
I’ve also had some quite funny things said to me, which to be honest, have been a little bit irritating and definitely eye-roll worthy, but like all good things in life, they must be shared.
So here we go with what NOT to say to someone who is waiting for test results! Enjoy….
“You know I once had a friend whose boyfriend’s mother’s sister’s cousin’s best friend’s dog had something similar*. She got sorted with a round of antibiotics, so maybe you should try that?” (Um, thanks for you concern, but I’m fairly sure I don’t have rabies.)
*I may have thrown the dog reference in there for comedy purposes…but the rest of the sentence pretty much happened!
“Have you thought about seeing a naturopath? They’re so good at fixing all sorts of things!” (No offence to any Naturopaths out there, but no amount of willow bark is going to fix this problem.)
“OMG THAT SOUNDS F*&KING AWFUL!! F*&K I HOPE NOTHING LIKE THAT EVER HAPPENS TO ME!! F*&K!! I JUST WOULD NOT COPE!! F*&K!!” (Thanks so much for making this all about yourself. I really appreciate it!)
“Aren’t you terrified of needles? How the hell are you going to get through this one? I hope lumbar punctures have improved since my friend had one. She said it was the most horrific thing she’s ever been through. Would you like her number? Sometimes talking to people who have been through it can help.” (OH FFS. NO, I would not like your friends number!)
“I’m sorry, what did you say? I wasn’t really listening….” (Never mind.)
But, on the bright side, here are some of the lovely things I’ve heard in the past few weeks, all of which would be AWESOME things to say to someone who is anxiously waiting for test results:
“YOU WILL BE FINE.”
“Call me if you need ANYTHING.”
“I think we need to fill up that empty wine glass of yours stat!”
“Can I do anything for you?”
“Want to meet me for a coffee?”
“I’m thinking of you”
“Is Scott ok?”
And last, but definitely not least: “I reckon you should tell Scott you need a new ring. You know, a big sucker to clutch onto during your lumbar! It would be the perfect solution to a very tense situation.” Which, just quietly, made me laugh so hard it cheered me up no end!
I also told Scott about that little suggestion to which he replied, “Um, has the doctor put you on mind altering drugs?” So I’m guessing a new ring isn’t on the cards anytime soon!
Ever had something mildly inappropriate/irritating/funny said to you while waiting for test results? DO TELL!
Leave a Reply