The original version of this post first appeared on Woogsworld back in June 2014, when Mrs Woog was kind enough to have me visit as part of her Sunday Special Guest series. I’ve tweaked the post a bit since then and today I thought I’d give you a slightly updated version.
Oh and one of these days I really should get around to telling you how Mrs Woog became my blogging mentor. Like most things that happen around here, it’s quite a funny story!
Yeah I’m Into Fitness
Something that you might not know about me is that I’m not really into sport or fitness of any kind.
This little gem of information usually surprises a lot of people, given that I pretty much live in yoga pants and sneakers.*
But last week, I shocked everyone I know, myself included, by joining a gym. And actually going.
Well, ok, I’ve been four times in two weeks but hey, I didn’t take chocolate with me, so that’s a win!
So now that I’ve been to the gym a handful of times, I’ve basically morphed into one of those really annoying reformed sloths who now only eats kale sandwiches (without the bread, obvs), drinks half strength, non fat soy vodkas and dishes out fitness advice to anyone who will listen. Clearly I am a right pain in the arse a joy to be around!
Here’s what I’ve learned so far…
1. If your personal trainer asks you how much you weigh and you reply with “Um, rude! Not even my husband knows that number. Just guess” and he suggests “65 kilos?” and you laugh so hard you actually snort in front of several VERY FIT PEOPLE, you might get some strange looks.
FYI: I haven’t weighed 65 kilos since I was 19. I think the personal trainer needs to ride his unicorn to the optometrist ASAP!
2. If your girlfriends text you, asking if you’d like to meet them at the usual place for coffee and cake on Thursday and you reply with “Sorry, I can’t. I’m going to the gym” you’ll more than likely get a reply that reads, “I’m sorry, who is this? And why do you have Kirsten’s phone?”
3. If you walk briskly for a solid 15 minutes on the treadmill while listening to nothing but a stirring rendition of Advance Australia Fair and several One Direction songs because your 9 year old accidentally synced her iPod to your phone and you haven’t got around to unsyncing it yet, you definitely deserve that teeny tiny family block of chocolate while sitting on the couch watching The Real Housewives of Anywhere later that night.
4. If your mum calls and you’re silly enough to answer the phone while on the treadmill, you may or may not be hit with all sorts of questions like “What exactly ARE you doing?” and “Do you have your inhaler?” or my personal favourite, “Oh for gods sake, why would you want to join a gym? Are you having a mid life crisis? Next you’ll be telling me you’re going to become a vegan and I’ll have to order a tofu turkey for Christmas!”
5. If you weigh yourself 3 days after joining the gym and discover you haven’t pulled a Biggest Loser and dropped 6 kilos in 72 hours, you might be tempted to hit the bakery, that’s cruelly located next to the gym, for some sort of carb induced sugar high. Don’t do it.
Because when you turn around holding a bag full of finger buns, you might just find your personal trainer standing right behind you ordering nothing but a bottle of water and some fresh air. Which will be all sorts of awkward for all concerned. Or so I’ve heard.
Are you into fitness? Got any tips on how I can become into fitness too?**
*May or may not be true
** I don’t actually want to know the answers to those questions. I just threw them in there for some reader interaction. If you’re able to tell me how I can lose the last 5 kilos while craving salt and vinegar chips with some sort of chocolate chaser, that would be really helpful!
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